I'm working on trust in my life lately and its coming up on a few levels.
When things get tight financially – trusting that everything will be just fine and feeling in my heart – knowing – that my family and I really and truly have everything that we need.
When I become anxious about my to do list or my busy calendar – I continue to try to remember to come back to trusting that everything will get done and everything is on track. And it if doesn't get done or I forget something; then everything will still be okay. I mean, really and truly, fine.
Trust asks that I get out of my head and into my heart – which I am slightly embarrassed to say is hard for me. But in my experience of being awake; this is what it is about, right? Being aware that I am not trusting and making an attempt to shift it. Being aware that I am anxious – feeling the anxiety, feeling the discomfort. This is the process of transformation – I want to move into the experience of trusting naturally and feeling much less anxiety. But I'm not there yet – I'm smack dab in the middle of this transformation and it is painful sometimes. But great wisdom comes from pain and I teach from my wisdom; pretty much in real time.
So I come back to trust. Trust that my transformation and growth as a human being is exactly as it should be. That what I teach is useful and timely.
Today, I look at this same concept from the perspective of our society. And my only hope and prayer is that on some dimension of our Cosmos what is happening makes sense and is part of the process of a collective transformation.
My prayer is that the souls of these black men and children sacrificed a long happy life to show our country the collective disease of bigotry and racism. To shine a light on it so our society can transform. It is painful and if it is painful for me, a white woman in the US – how painful must this be for black men and woman living in these times? My friend Tracii, an empowered and phenomenal black woman, posted on Facebook “I. Cant. Breath”.
Eric Garner couldn't breath and now none of us can breath at such earthly injustice. I am angry for my fellow humans who have to endure this insanity of racism and blatant ignorance. I am angry that I feel so helpless.
So I come back to trust. I don't want to reside in anger. And I certainly do not want to feel helpless. Our collective will wake up when we individually wake up. When we individually live our lives and contribute to our communities from a place of compassion and deep understanding that we are all of one – one human race - then little by little – transformation will happen. There is a lot of waking up to do out there. A seemingly overwhelming amount, actually.
So today I will choose to double down on trust. Trust that how I live my life and how I raise my children will change the world. Trust that all of the millions of other humans, just like me, are raising their children to be awake and compassionate and anchored in the knowledge that we are all one; all equal and all in this together. I trust that this will contribute to the change that is so obviously called for at this time.